Bitter Words From Better Days

by TheDarkPrep

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1.
03:32
2.
04:05
3.
04:15
4.
5.
03:51
6.

about

This is a very personal album written by Rose Estrada to aid in a fundraiser to offset upcoming medical costs. The songs all have to do with the thoughts and struggles Rose (and many transgender people) have had to face.

credits

released September 1, 2015

All the songs were written, performed, and recorded by Rose Estrada and produced by Brandon Mullin.

Some additional instrumentation was provided by Andre Estrada and Xavier Layne (Drums and Bass respectively) on songs 4 and 5.

Album art by Bakki (bakki.deviantart.com)
Design by Rei Haycraft from Revenant Images (www.facebook.com/revenantimages)

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

thedarkprep Cincinnati, Ohio

thedarkprep is a transgender songwriter currently living in Cincinnati, OH.

contact / help

Contact thedarkprep

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Track Name: PSA
PSA by thedarkprep:

As she sings one feels the tension.
Unmatching vocals give the wrong impression,
I’m no gimmick, just cultural subversion.
Call me a hammer smashing convention.

Cause as I stand on this stage I for once feel at ease.
It’s my stage, I have claimed it, I’ll do as I please.
Yet you stare, shout and mumble so I guess I should mention.
Your words cannot harm me, I crave the attention.

So stare up in awe,
Yes, come one and all,
For my lone soliloquy
Those who have the gall,
Let them stand up tall
Let them say and do what they please.
Let the rumors swell,
let them show and tell,
So the trusting might believe,
Cause I know them well,
and despite their hell
You’ll find their words cannot
Define
Me.

The world is black and white and I’m a worn-out bleach gray,
Winning the lottery means waking up for each day,
Russian roulette? Pff! That’s what I call fate, cause my chance of death currently sits at 1/8th.
Yea, 1 in 8. Enough to hesitate. But when the world fucks you over reciprocate.
Yea don’t be rude. It did me a favor.
It made me damn bitter and you love the flavor.
Believe not in doubts, cower not from fear,
Blink not and watch obstacles disappear.
It’s from our lowest, where we see how high we rise,
And from rock bottom we stand to gain paradise.

So stare up in awe, Yes, come one and all,
For my lone soliloquy
Those who have the gall, Let them stand up tall
Let them say and do what they please.
Let the rumors swell, let them show and tell,
So the trusting might believe,
Cause I know them well, and despite their hell
You’ll find their words cannot
Define. Contain. Reproach, or Shame.
Attack, Defame.
All they do in the end is give me both fuel and stage.

So stare up in awe, Yes, come one and all,
For my lone soliloquy
Those who have the gall, Let them stand up tall
Let them be.
Let the rumors swell, let them show and tell,
So the trusting might believe,
Cause I know them well, and despite their hell
You’ll find their words cannot
Will not
Define
Me.
Track Name: Newsflash
Newsflash by thedarkprep

The alarm is sounding for an imminent threat
And fear broadcasts through every tv set
They say repent, we’re not content,
They crave a war, a war they’ll get

A war for culture, for identity
Pitting moral outrage ‘gainst empathy,
Land of the free, unless it’s me,
As you defend ideologies

You say I’m the enemy
I beg to disagree
You sell us misery,
But we reject the finder’s fee

Another night another expert takes the stage, paranoia they bring
Another night another chance to denigrate a human being

You’ve built a wall of lies
It stands before your eyes
You’ve built a wall of lies
But your wall’s due for tearing down

They tell us fall in line,
They want to change our mind,
Amidst a world
Devoid of reason

Our heartbeats beat in time
This ain’t a choice of mine
It’s just that progress
Is in season

It Ends Now
Watch us
It Ends Now
Rise Up
It Ends Now
As we end our silence.
Track Name: Step by Step
Step by Step by thedarkprep

You tell me to shut up,
You smash your reflection
Your room’s filled with shards and debris
And yet still you find you can’t quiet my singing,
No matter how loudly you scream.

La la la la la

Perhaps I’m your doubts,
A hallucination,
The truth don’t quite matter to me
In truth it’s quite simple, I’m you but more honest,
The words you know to believe,
Cause you’re worthless, a burden,
Misshapen, forgotten
Quite frankly unworthy to live
My words strike a nerve,
Your friends claim to know you
But mine’s the counsel you receive.

Step by step,
Closing in on the noose
Inching in step by step,
What have you got to lose.

Every time you cry,
I am the laughter you hear
Every time you hope
I remind you to fear
I’m the lie, in each smile,
Every regret you hold dear
And I won’t, and I wont disappear

La la la la la

Your friends say they miss you,
Some say they love you,
It sounds like pure rubbish to me,
And now they all want you to take medication,
Claiming it’ll set you free
But we both know the problem, it’s not me it’s you,
Aimless obsession with nothing to prove
You’re lazy, you’re stupid, on others dependent
But you’re not “misunderstood”

Step by step,
Closing in on the noose
Inching in step by step,
What have you got to lose?
Yes it is step by step
In your deserted room,
Keep going step by step,
It’ll be over soon.

Every time you cry,
I am the laughter you hear
Every time you hope
I remind you to fear
I’m the lie, in each smile,
Every regret you hold dear
And I won’t, and I won’t disappear

La la la la la la la
Track Name: Another Way to Entertain
Another Way to Entertain by thedarkprep

I see you in the crowd,
A blurry silhouette,
The spotlight’s yet to blind me-
Your whispers carry through
As I take the mic and stage
The written page
Alone you stand politely

I see it in your eyes,
I know you’re not impressed
You think it’s all the same

But I will not release
Your mind until I find
A way to entertain

A way to entertain

I’m not another singer with a story to tell
Just a soul to sell for your attention
Oh what a convention!
The lengths I must go to to get you to mention
The words from my mouth in a passing reflection
I tried being honest but held no retention

And not to mention,
The smiles that hide the times that I fell
They said I wear arrogance well
But I wouldn’t know my dear mademoiselle
So let us rebel

In the noise and the chords
and the pounding as well
Without allowing a moment to dwell
On the tears and the heartache of the personnel

You will not tune me out
We’re on another tier
You will remember, you saw us here
Another minute of your time, now
I want to make it clear

I see it in your eyes
I know you’re not impressed
You think it’s all the same

But I will not release
Your mind until I find
A way to entertain

I may be a jester, but I’ll give all I’ve got
My blood, my tears, my dreams so you can’t say that you forgot

The name

I’ll struggle until nothing remains
But you’ll never say I settled for fame

I see it in your eyes
I know you’re not impressed
But I will find a way to entertain
Track Name: Whispering
Whispering by thedarkprep

These days I come to find,
That I can’t get some rest
These days, I just can’t stand
This aching in my chest

And every single time,
I try to avoid the noise,
The silence in my room's
Been taken by your voice

Your whispers,
Replay in my head
Every day their volume
Grows

And I’m finding,
Wherever I am,
Your voice seems to go

It's nothing,
Or so they have said,
It's nothing,
It's all in my head,
It's nothing
But to me it's all I have left

To remind me, of the girl I once knew
To remind me, of the love that once grew
To remind me, of who I once knew
To remind me of you

You’re whispering in my head
Your whispering’s always there
Track Name: Last One Out (Put Out The Light)
Last One Out (Put out the Light)

So many put their faith in god
I think its fantasy
Meanwhile I think that we’re alone
They call it heresy,

Beliefs and views divide our groups
And we all think we’re right,
But in the end none will survive
None will survive

So to the last one out, put out the light.

Is it hope? Is it fear? Is it fitting in?
Why we search for the things we have never seen
Why we chose to deny every mystery
Why we all tend to ask “what does it all mean?”

Some change the world to fit their views
Hoping not to lose some great battle in their mind
Some of us just walk on by.

No matter what we try
We ain’t getting out alive
So to the last one out
Please put out the light

Is it wrong to believe? Is it wrong to not?
Are there roots to ideals? And how can we sort?
‘Tween the deeds done for good and those done in pride
When the outcomes the same? Does it matter?
(Why?)
Is there purpose?
(How?)
Is there method?
And do we know if we’ve asked the right questions?
Too much to ponder, to keep in mind
And there’s not much time.