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Bitter Words From Better Days

by TheDarkPrep

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1.
PSA 03:32
PSA by thedarkprep: As she sings one feels the tension. Unmatching vocals give the wrong impression, I’m no gimmick, just cultural subversion. Call me a hammer smashing convention. Cause as I stand on this stage I for once feel at ease. It’s my stage, I have claimed it, I’ll do as I please. Yet you stare, shout and mumble so I guess I should mention. Your words cannot harm me, I crave the attention. So stare up in awe, Yes, come one and all, For my lone soliloquy Those who have the gall, Let them stand up tall Let them say and do what they please. Let the rumors swell, let them show and tell, So the trusting might believe, Cause I know them well, and despite their hell You’ll find their words cannot Define Me. The world is black and white and I’m a worn-out bleach gray, Winning the lottery means waking up for each day, Russian roulette? Pff! That’s what I call fate, cause my chance of death currently sits at 1/8th. Yea, 1 in 8. Enough to hesitate. But when the world fucks you over reciprocate. Yea don’t be rude. It did me a favor. It made me damn bitter and you love the flavor. Believe not in doubts, cower not from fear, Blink not and watch obstacles disappear. It’s from our lowest, where we see how high we rise, And from rock bottom we stand to gain paradise. So stare up in awe, Yes, come one and all, For my lone soliloquy Those who have the gall, Let them stand up tall Let them say and do what they please. Let the rumors swell, let them show and tell, So the trusting might believe, Cause I know them well, and despite their hell You’ll find their words cannot Define. Contain. Reproach, or Shame. Attack, Defame. All they do in the end is give me both fuel and stage. So stare up in awe, Yes, come one and all, For my lone soliloquy Those who have the gall, Let them stand up tall Let them be. Let the rumors swell, let them show and tell, So the trusting might believe, Cause I know them well, and despite their hell You’ll find their words cannot Will not Define Me.
2.
Newsflash 04:05
Newsflash by thedarkprep The alarm is sounding for an imminent threat And fear broadcasts through every tv set They say repent, we’re not content, They crave a war, a war they’ll get A war for culture, for identity Pitting moral outrage ‘gainst empathy, Land of the free, unless it’s me, As you defend ideologies You say I’m the enemy I beg to disagree You sell us misery, But we reject the finder’s fee Another night another expert takes the stage, paranoia they bring Another night another chance to denigrate a human being You’ve built a wall of lies It stands before your eyes You’ve built a wall of lies But your wall’s due for tearing down They tell us fall in line, They want to change our mind, Amidst a world Devoid of reason Our heartbeats beat in time This ain’t a choice of mine It’s just that progress Is in season It Ends Now Watch us It Ends Now Rise Up It Ends Now As we end our silence.
3.
Step by Step 04:15
Step by Step by thedarkprep You tell me to shut up, You smash your reflection Your room’s filled with shards and debris And yet still you find you can’t quiet my singing, No matter how loudly you scream. La la la la la Perhaps I’m your doubts, A hallucination, The truth don’t quite matter to me In truth it’s quite simple, I’m you but more honest, The words you know to believe, Cause you’re worthless, a burden, Misshapen, forgotten Quite frankly unworthy to live My words strike a nerve, Your friends claim to know you But mine’s the counsel you receive. Step by step, Closing in on the noose Inching in step by step, What have you got to lose. Every time you cry, I am the laughter you hear Every time you hope I remind you to fear I’m the lie, in each smile, Every regret you hold dear And I won’t, and I wont disappear La la la la la Your friends say they miss you, Some say they love you, It sounds like pure rubbish to me, And now they all want you to take medication, Claiming it’ll set you free But we both know the problem, it’s not me it’s you, Aimless obsession with nothing to prove You’re lazy, you’re stupid, on others dependent But you’re not “misunderstood” Step by step, Closing in on the noose Inching in step by step, What have you got to lose? Yes it is step by step In your deserted room, Keep going step by step, It’ll be over soon. Every time you cry, I am the laughter you hear Every time you hope I remind you to fear I’m the lie, in each smile, Every regret you hold dear And I won’t, and I won’t disappear La la la la la la la
4.
Another Way to Entertain by thedarkprep I see you in the crowd, A blurry silhouette, The spotlight’s yet to blind me- Your whispers carry through As I take the mic and stage The written page Alone you stand politely I see it in your eyes, I know you’re not impressed You think it’s all the same But I will not release Your mind until I find A way to entertain A way to entertain I’m not another singer with a story to tell Just a soul to sell for your attention Oh what a convention! The lengths I must go to to get you to mention The words from my mouth in a passing reflection I tried being honest but held no retention And not to mention, The smiles that hide the times that I fell They said I wear arrogance well But I wouldn’t know my dear mademoiselle So let us rebel In the noise and the chords and the pounding as well Without allowing a moment to dwell On the tears and the heartache of the personnel You will not tune me out We’re on another tier You will remember, you saw us here Another minute of your time, now I want to make it clear I see it in your eyes I know you’re not impressed You think it’s all the same But I will not release Your mind until I find A way to entertain I may be a jester, but I’ll give all I’ve got My blood, my tears, my dreams so you can’t say that you forgot The name I’ll struggle until nothing remains But you’ll never say I settled for fame I see it in your eyes I know you’re not impressed But I will find a way to entertain
5.
Whispering 03:51
Whispering by thedarkprep These days I come to find, That I can’t get some rest These days, I just can’t stand This aching in my chest And every single time, I try to avoid the noise, The silence in my room's Been taken by your voice Your whispers, Replay in my head Every day their volume Grows And I’m finding, Wherever I am, Your voice seems to go It's nothing, Or so they have said, It's nothing, It's all in my head, It's nothing But to me it's all I have left To remind me, of the girl I once knew To remind me, of the love that once grew To remind me, of who I once knew To remind me of you You’re whispering in my head Your whispering’s always there
6.
Last One Out (Put out the Light) So many put their faith in god I think its fantasy Meanwhile I think that we’re alone They call it heresy, Beliefs and views divide our groups And we all think we’re right, But in the end none will survive None will survive So to the last one out, put out the light. Is it hope? Is it fear? Is it fitting in? Why we search for the things we have never seen Why we chose to deny every mystery Why we all tend to ask “what does it all mean?” Some change the world to fit their views Hoping not to lose some great battle in their mind Some of us just walk on by. No matter what we try We ain’t getting out alive So to the last one out Please put out the light Is it wrong to believe? Is it wrong to not? Are there roots to ideals? And how can we sort? ‘Tween the deeds done for good and those done in pride When the outcomes the same? Does it matter? (Why?) Is there purpose? (How?) Is there method? And do we know if we’ve asked the right questions? Too much to ponder, to keep in mind And there’s not much time.

about

This is a very personal album written by Rose Estrada to aid in a fundraiser to offset upcoming medical costs. The songs all have to do with the thoughts and struggles Rose (and many transgender people) have had to face.

credits

released September 1, 2015

All the songs were written, performed, and recorded by Rose Estrada and produced by Brandon Mullin.

Some additional instrumentation was provided by Andre Estrada and Xavier Layne (Drums and Bass respectively) on songs 4 and 5.

Album art by Bakki (bakki.deviantart.com)
Design by Rei Haycraft from Revenant Images (www.facebook.com/revenantimages)

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all rights reserved

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about

thedarkprep Charlotte, North Carolina

thedarkprep is a transgender songwriter currently living in Cincinnati, OH.

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